Sunday, August 1, 2010

My ex keeps painting our 3 year old boys' nails and toe nails bright pink with nail polish?

I am sure she is doin this to irratate me because he has it on him evertime i pick him up for our visitation. How should I handle this, because my boy thinks its pretty. I tell him its pretty for girls, and then i'm not sure what to say. Any adviceMy ex keeps painting our 3 year old boys' nails and toe nails bright pink with nail polish?
Geez, this is something I've never dealt with. How do you tell her to stop when she does it to PYO? I'm not sure, but I think what you tell your son is okay. Little boys have no idea about girl/boy stuff, so don't make too big a deal in front of him.





You need to talk with your ex (sorry) and ask her to stop. We both know why she's doing it, I guess I'm stumped as to what to do about it. If you make a big deal with her, she's probably going to up the ante somehow. Is she really that vindictive? Will she play your son against you? Man, good thing you got out of that one, huh?





Sorry I can't be of more help. This is a real dilemma.My ex keeps painting our 3 year old boys' nails and toe nails bright pink with nail polish?
I don't really know if this is a good idea, but you could try to do an exchange. If he promises not to use the pink nail polish, you will give him a piece of candy or some other small treat every time he comes back from her.
i'm still married and when my 2yo wants his nails painted i do them. generally i paint them a clear instead of colored but sometimes he wants the color mommy and sissy have one so i do it but remove it (colored) b4 we go out.





ok the point of all this is ask her to do clear instead. after all men are getting manicures now too.
Children typically do not gender-associate until they are 4 or so, so please don't worry that pink toes will make him feminine. But when he does get older, he will get lots of crap for those pink toes from other kids and he will tell mom to stop. In the meantime, you should paint them another color just to piss off your ex.
I take it you and the ex don't get along to well? If that is the case then oh yeah - she's doing it because she knows it bothers you. Unless she is putting him in frilly dresses I wouldn't worry to much about it - keep some nail polish remover handy.


Above all - don't get mad at your son. If he likes it - ech, he's 3. Someone is going to say something like ';oh what a pretty little girl'; and that will probably tell him better than anything that nail polish is something associated with girls.
thats not right,you need to get thru to her.he is your kid too,do what you have to.
Well you could try asking your ex to stop painting your child's nails. I mean he's only three for gosh sakes and pink is for girls yes but on boys it just leads to things like being called gay by others which I'm sure you don't want. Just talk to your ex reasonable and maybe she'll stop it. You never know unless you try.
Ask her about it. Like others said, he might be doing it to be like mommy. Just have her tell him he can paint his nails when hes old enough to understand that nail polish is mostly a girl thing and then let him choose if he likes it or not (and if he still likes it well theres nothing wrong with being gay in my opinion), when I was little I used ot put alot of makeup and where my moms bras and stuf them to be like her :-p It was alot of fun though and my mom encourages things like that, except if I was a parent I'd only let m son wear nail polish in public or if he wants to put make up on, only in private until hes old enough to understand, and not to offend you but I think Colleen has a pretty somewhat goood answers too.
It is very common for boys at that age to try girls stuff and vice versa. Leave the kid discovers his world. If your ex is trying to irritate you then just ignore her. If the nails painting bothers you, wipe it off and offer your kid something else. OR, just leave it and it'll fade away. She'll stop when she notices that it is not working.
The one with the problem is not your ex wife but it is YOU. Your son is simply idetifying with his mother which is what little boys do at this age. He WANTS his nails polished...so what? You're making a major issue out of a normal phase of growth in a boy's life. Obviously YOU have issues with your own sexuallity otherwise it wouldn't bother you.
You know what Judge Judy would say ';You picked her'; I would continue reinforcing to my son that nail polish is something that girls normally wear. I would not bad mouth his mommy in front of him (even though she sounds like she needs it) I would also take him around other little boys to play with and then show him hey! they don't wear nail polish. Good luck to you!
I don't see what the big deal is.





A 3 year old has little more than the most basic grasp of gender identity. Pink nail polish is not going to turn him gay or anything.





Your son probably likes it because it's a way for him to get positive attention. How much time do you spend with your son? Do you have any kind of activities that you two do together that makes him feel good about himself?





If it makes you feel any better, my brother was the youngest child and only boy in a family of 8. His first day of kindergarten he insisted on painting his nails pink to look pretty for his first day of school. That's what all his sisters were doing. He figured out pretty fast that he was the only boy with pink nails and it didn't make him feel very good to be an outsider. He is now 20 and has a lovely girlfriend.





Your son is too young to understand ';it's pretty for girls, not boys';. That just makes them confused because they don't understand that kind of gender role. Personally, I wouldn't do anything at this point. Your son is just too young for this to be an issue. The more attention you draw to it, the more your son will understand that his nails are a really big deal. If you ignore it, and don't draw any attention to it, he will become less interested. A 3 year old is only interested in what you make a big deal out of. They are copy cats. Maybe find something you and your son can do, like temporary tattoos, that will take his mind off of his nails.





good luck
Maybe you should use reverse psychology and say their nails are pretty and buy the next shade of polish! If she is doing this to irritate you she will stop and if not maybe she is psychotic!
are u sure she's doing it to make u mad? could it be possible that he sees her do it and wants to do it too? it's not a big deal for a 3 yr. old boy to want his nails painted when he sees girls doing it. maybe u could suggest painting each finger with a different color and use it to pratice learning the colors. i wouldn't make a big deal out of it though. and if she is doing it just to make u mad, it might surprise her that it doesn't make u mad, that u think it's a great way for him to learn his colors.
WEEELLLLLL maybey it's not to piss you off maybey it's because he saw mommy doing it and wanted his nails painted as well. SOOOOO she put it on him because HE wanted to be like mommy. I walked in on my 2 year old son trying to put make up on one day in my bedroom. He saw mommy do it and wanted to do it to. it may not be all about you.
  • applying make up
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